Putting Happiness First – Success is not Happiness

Polluted Thoughts leading to unhappiness

Our society tell us from an primary age that the roadmap to a successful (and happy) life is to study hard, go to university, get a well-paid job, get married, have kids and buy our own home. Even if, as kids, we are already happy without any of these things, we absorb the brainwashing like sponges.

Nobody tells us to put our own happiness first and to allow ourselves to be the guiding compass in life. Focusing on ourselves and putting oneself first is seen to be selfish and irresponsible. Consider the safety instructions on an airplane. We are told to take our own oxygen first before supplying to those around us. Similarly, to truly serve and inspire others, we need to put our own happiness first.  When our happiness tank is empty or depleted, what do we have to give others?

Finding Happiness through being present – Here and Now

HAPPINESS IS HERE NOW

The best person to ask about how to be happy here and now would be a kid. They live more in the present moment than most adults and seem to behappy for no reason in particular. Unburdened by duties, responsibilities, self-limiting beliefs or concepts such as ‘happy or unhappy’, joy simply bubbles up from within. Being happy here and now is simply an expression of their true nature.

They probably wouldn’t be able to answer the question though, having never thought about it. And therein lays the secret. They are simply absorbed in the present moment and not thinking about much at all. As adults, however, we are so preoccupied by our busy minds that we basically don’t notice the joy and happiness which is always there inside us. Happiness is here now but we are somewhere else, lost in thinking.

Cultivating the Happiness Habit

Happiness is a Habit

On the path of happiness, one will always face one dreadful question.

Why is it that some people remain bright and cheery whatever life throws at them while others walk around with a permanent frown on their face? Is it connected to our circumstances, our life situation? Is it something in the genes? Or is being unhappy no more than a (bad) habit?  Is it imaginable to let go of being habitually unhappy and cultivate a happiness habit instead?

Happiness research reveals that, with the exception of those living in poverty, life circumstances play a surprisingly small part in determining how happy or unhappy a person is. More money can make us more comfortable but not necessarily any happier. There are plenty of unhappy millionaires out there that will testify to this.

Stop Waiting for Happiness and Choose Happiness Now

Sad young woman waiting for happiness to happen to her!!

Are you waiting for happiness to happen to you in the next job, the next place, or with the next partner?

If answer to above question is yes then you have to let go of the notion that happiness can be found somewhere other than right here, right now. Happiness will never be where you are until you choose happiness. The notion that happiness can be found through creating a perfect set of external conditions is firmly rooted in our heads at a young age.

We grow up listening to bedtime stories of damsels in distress who were set free from their wretched and miserable lives by a handsome young prince and then went on to live ‘happily ever after”. Then, when we are a little grown-up, we absorb from our parents and teachers that the key to a successful and happy life is to study hard, go to university, get a well salaried job, get married, buy our own house and have children. We innocently absorb a head full of preconceived ideas about what a happy life ‘should’ look like.

Happiness is a Choice!!

Happiness is a choice!! Choose your happiness!!

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”- Abraham Lincoln

Or, in other words, happiness is a choice.

Many people have set concepts about what a happy life ’should’ look like. Happiness is seen as an end goal to be accomplished in some future moment when conditions are ripe. They are just waiting for happiness to occur to them. When I have more money or meet the right partner or move to a warmer climate or find my life purpose – then I will be happy.

As long as we place pre-conditions on our happiness, we will continue to overlook the possibility that what we seek may already be there within us. We will always be on the path of ‘becoming’ happy rather than choosing to simply be happy here and now, whatever our circumstances.

The Idea of Happiness

INTERNAL Vs EXTERNAL HAPPINESS

The idea of ever lasting Happiness is confusing to most people

Every person will have their own definition of happiness.

For one person, happiness may be a night out in the pub, watching sports with their mates… or a night in, tucked into a bed whilst watching a good movie! For some another, it may be the satisfaction of receiving recognition for something they have achieved or getting the promotion at work. Someone else may experience happiness through daily prayer or meditation.

If you wish to create a happier life for yourself, it is helpful to have a clear understanding about what happiness means to you.

Your definition of happiness will influence every decision you make in your life – the type of environment you live in, the type of work you choose, your attitude towards yourself and others, the pace you choose to live at, the activities you engage in and the things which you give priority to.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The path to Happiness is always a long journey.

Whole world is in the pursuit of happiness. Happiness seems to be long distant dream which is no near yet so far. We keep running behind happiness. We keep walking on a journey, on a path to happiness. But sometimes we need to stop and look around and understand that happiness is not the destination but it is the journey, it is the path. The path called life.

On this path called life, we get trapped in happiness based on conditions or situations. When happiness is conditional/ circumstantial, we are content when we are having pleasurable experiences or the happiness of having things go our way. Understanding Conditional Happiness vs Real Happiness may help us to uncover the beautiful journey called life.

Inner Peace – LETTING GO of the Past & Future

Inner Peace – Balance at Present – Letting go of Past & Future

Past and future Have No Reality of their Own – Unknown

Letting go of the past is essential if we wish to experience peace and contentment in the moment. What happened or what may happen exist only as ideas in our head. As our attention can only be in one place at a time, when we are lost in thinking of the past, we miss the moment, current reality and miss out the simple contentment that is available to us right now. We spend our present days playing mental movies of the past and future in our heads. And in doing so, we miss the gift of happiness that the present moment contains.

Inner Peace – The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are

Inner peace  – Accepting People Where They Are

On my journey to find Inner peace – I was recently in a situation where the actions of a person where confusing, hurtful, and frustrating for me. I spent so much time judging, being sad that he wasn’t acting in a way that I expected, being hard on myself, and wondering what I might have done to make him act this way. I have to interject that these are all behaviors that I know will only cause me more suffering, but I do believe that trying situations are always tests to see just how much we’ve learned on our paths in life.

Finding Inner Peace in Adversity

Finding Inner Peace

Many people are undergoing extreme internal and external chaos during the frequent shift and the resulting changes it imposes on one’s lifestyle. The forces of transformation are chaotic and confusing to an unprepared mind and body.

When we are stagnant in our life, we are like running a treadmill of repeated patterns, these patterns repeat over and over, and that oppresses and suppresses our consciousness growth. This makes a human being feel truly unhappy and isolated from connection and meaning. Being stagnant in our identity, routine and daily schedule, also suppresses our mental development. This stagnation of the soul, promotes anti-life values and oppression. This oppression weighs even heavier on a burdened mind, and therefore leads to a burdened body. And a burdened body and cluttered mind becomes unhappy, disconnected, chaotic and then sick.