People say you should be with somebody who is similar to yours. People also say opposites attract. While both can be good to certain people I have found that a relationship that has the yin yang components is beautiful. Two people cannot think alike. Life affects each person a different way. You could have ten people in the same room all who have had identical life experiences and each of them feels a different way. Sure, they can relate, but all do not think alike. The way I see, if you have someone who is almost completely like you at some point in time there is no balance. When you have what I call a yin yang relationship, you can have harmony. I have discovered that the only reason one relationship can work is because they are able to complement each other.
Yes, two people in a relationship can fight just like a couple does, but by the end of it if they are able to see the other side of the coin, they can grow and realize that both were seeing in the same direction but with a different perspective. Perhaps, this appears to work from the outside, but realistically when you are not together, you both feel like a part of you is missing. It becomes difficult to function normally. The more you develop this kind of a relationship, the more you become dependent on that person which makes you a handicap. This can feel crushing and heart breaking and can result in extreme dysfunction when either you become unhappy without the other, spend time apart, etc.
I feel it is far more important to pursue an understanding of the balance of yin and yang within oneself, for no other reason than self-improvement. That way, when you find someone you want to support, you will already have beautiful and fully represented feelings to offer them, and will know who it is appropriate to hold out for. Finding someone you feel is right for you can be amazing when you feel a lack, but this is certainly not the best way to achieve balance, as being desperate for something is a horrible feeling with which to enter a relationship and relying on another person for balance can make you seem needy and be disastrous, unreliable, or unsatisfying. When you understand the energies at work within your own thoughts, actions, lifestyle patterns, or body as an individual, you are far more powerful and more prepared to offer something good to others around you.
Regardless of the feeling that a partner may complete you, or how much you yearn to feel one with energies opposite to your own, finding real stability and power requires an understanding of balance within oneself.
Focus or energy directed toward another person from one side of the yin/yang spectrum may restore temporary balance to the mind or emotions by presenting aspects which are attractive to the opposite, but once these aspects disappear or equalization occurs, the connection is over. This kind of involvement also does not require synchronization between the two people, one may be happy to give while the other receives, but they may not really see or feel the other person. Often in this case, sexual intimacy is seen as the highest possible form of pleasure and synchronization. Often grave misunderstandings, egotism, and selfishness can occur and perpetuate it here. Either or both people may just be acting out their own mental patterning instead of sharing a conscious involvement.
A more deep and powerful connection with a lasting positive impact on another person has many alternating aspects and is more about being in the moment, understanding the presence or lack of certain ideas or emotions within an experience, and then reflecting those with an outward expression of appropriate nature. It may start with an understanding of one’s own emotions, but sensitivity is paramount, and if either person cannot see or feel the energy of the other, deeper synchronization will not be possible. For people who understand this kind of involvement, working together to achieve a goal, dancing, or even sharing conversation can be far more valuable and more rewarding than sexual intimacy. These kinds of involvements feel truly selfless and good, and are more about understanding the significance of the experience and expressing an appropriate space that feels comfortable and nurturing for the people involved.
I feel like many (especially young) people fall prey to the trap of wanting some perfect soul mate person to come along and fix everything. Then, the moment they find someone close, they start to imbalance themselves to match this other person so they may grow to be well-suited for each other and possibly become married. It looks good for a while, but we cannot escape the fact that we are all full people within ourselves with a complete range of thoughts and emotions. Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, if you do not try to understand this internal balance with a willingness to satisfy yourself, you may find yourself deeply unsatisfied at one end of the extreme from time to time no matter who you are with.
The only one who is sensitive enough to understand and satisfy you is yourself. If you cannot find the will to be a full person and love yourself even when all others are gone, you have nothing to offer except neediness, and like it or not this void will perpetuate the imbalance and bring down others. Strive to love, accept, and satisfy yourself, and you will truly have something to offer: a full and balanced perspective, the shining mirror of truth a beautiful partner deserves to see.